Here are Valley&Bluff restricted posts

Just pay $3 for one month and $12 for four months, and I’ll send you the password to see them:

Tom Brady is a dirty, rotten cheater

So, Tom Brady kinda knew that his footballs were being deflated. This gave him an edge over the opposing teams’ quarterbacks, who played by the rules.

This is what ought to happen, but won’t:

  • The NFL should go through the Patriot’s won-loss records and award wins to all Patriot opponents where Brady played.
  • This means, that the Seattle Seahawks won the 2014 Super Bowl.

Dirty, rotten cheaters should be treated like dirty, rotten cheaters.

Not worth my time …

What do you call someone who follows you … and this person has 1,000 followers and follows 1,900? Oh, and this person has written exactly four tweets. Can you say “spammer?”

 

Here are the latest Valley&Bluff posts …

Screw the oil companies, screw them with an elephant’s *ick

You know how the oil companies jacked up prices when winter started. They claimed that so much of the product was going to produce fuel oil to heat homes that they just had to raise prices, by golly.

Now that spring is her and people have their windows up all night, I guess those fuel prices must be dropping, huh?

Yeah, well, prices at the gas station have never been higher. So, F.U. car drivers.

Here’s the solution. Technology. In the hands of te people.

There are electric cars that are rechargeable. They do not use gasoline.

But it maks=es no sense to switch out a car that uses gasoline fr a gar that is ultimately powered by fossil fuels. Us you get power from Ameren CILCO, you are powered by coal, which they ship to Duck Creek by the daily train load.

Ever hear of solar power? How about wind power? It’s possible, right now, to switch. It’s more expensive — not to mention easier — to just keep using gasoline and coal power.

There are companies right now that are about six months away from releasing new batteries that we can use in our homes that will make it a lot easier to power uo our homes with solar and wind power.

Now, the closer we get to this, they mor we will see utility companies fight back. They’ll convince their allies in government to mandate all homes be n the grid, and that we may for the privilege. You will see all sorts of scary headlines about blades on wind turbines killing American Eagles and flying off and killing people miles away.

It’s all bullshit.

 

Here’s what we do if a GOPer wins the 2016 election

  • We’ll start claiming immediately that whoever it is is desperate for a third term and plans to ferment unrest somewhere so he can send in the troops and declare “Marshal Law.”
  • Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we declare that his/her birth certificate is an “obvious forgery” and demand proof of live birth in the United States.  Which we, of course, will reject.
  • Demand to see copies of all tests, quizzes, book reports, etc. from college and if he is unable to present them, claim that his entire academic record is faked.
  • Did he ever life within a 20-mile radius of any known radicals? Pronounce him/her a follower of said radical.

Here are the posts from Valley & Bluff

Protect me from physical terrorists

I attended my first physical therapy session today. The physical terrotrist in question was named Josh. I am more tired and sore than when I walk around the block twice. I am sore.

© 2015 Peoria Pundit

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑

Contact Form Powered By : XYZScripts.com